IFLOSS DENTAL CLINIC

 Helllooooooo

Let's talk about dental hygiene today because my teeth is overdue for scaling. I don't have perfect teeth and my dental hygiene isn't perfect either, but I try my best to ensure there are no cavities, no bad breath and no infections. I don't think I've had any toothache but I've seen my sisters and my mom went through it and boy, that's definitely one experience I wouldn't mind missing.

I try my best to go see the dentist for annual checkup and regular scaling at least twice a year. I usually head to the government dental clinic in Keramat/Setiawangsa because it's affordable but the wait takes up half a day. With MCO in Malaysia, they have changed the procedure. You're not able to walk in early morning for a spot now. Instead, you are required to call them in order to book a spot. Spots are always full aaaaand there goes my routine of getting my teeth cleaned.

And that is how my journey began by looking into options to go do a checkup and scaling at a private clinic. Some of them are a tad bit expensive for me so I was a bit dispirited. Almost gave up actually and thought why not just book a spot with the usual clinic and wait for another 2-3 months ─ wasn't looking forward to it but it is what it is. 

But one day out of the blue, I received an email from iFloss Dental and they offered me the service. I couldn't say no to it.

iFloss Dental is located in Plaza Arkadia of Desa Parkcity. There aren't any public transportations that I know of nearby but it does take around 20 minutes from KL Sentral by car. They are located on the first floor of Block G, just right opposite the lift. I'm not familiar with Plaza Arkadia so searching for them was quite easy since they're the first thing you see when the door lift opens.

You will need to do the usual MySejahtera scan and getting your temperature checked before registering.  The first thing that caught my eye was how warm and how fun the clinic is decorated. They have a section of the wall that shows the before and after of their patients' teeth. I find this cute and adds a bit of personal touch to their ambience.

Once you've registered, you'll be led to the waiting area before you meet the doctor. I love this waiting area. It's so well lit. I should have taken a few selfies. I also like this area because of the toys located in the corner of the room. I was also informed that there is another larger play area for kids to play and I'll see it on the way to the room later.

They called me in when the doctor was ready. The doctor that attended to me was Dr. Aaron Lai. He performed the scaling and polishing on my teeth. I don't have cavities ─ yayy! ─ but he did say my lower denture was dirtier than my upper denture. I'm not scared of dentists but when he asked me to demonstrate how I brush my teeth, I got a bit scared haha. I was worried that I was brushing my teeth wrong this whole time. it was a good thing he requested me to demonstrate so that he is s able to provide me recommendations on how to brush my teeth properly and improve my dental hygiene.

They also have other treatments available such as wisdom tooth removal, whitening, dental implant and of course, braces. Dr. Aaron was very patient explaining the procedure of each treatment and recommending me treatments that best suits my concern regarding my teeth. I have been considering on wearing braces to fix on my lower molars. They aren't upright and that area is where I have a lot of buildup. The idea of getting on braces to me would help fix the position of the molars and in turn, I can get to improve my dental hygiene as well. They have a few options for braces ranging from RM5,500 to RM19,000 depending on the condition of your teeth.

Overall, I had a great dentist visit! I'm so happy that my teeth are now cleaner and I can feel the gaps between my teeth haha. I might just bring my sisters here for their annual checkup and scaling too. The cost of scaling would be from RM50-RM100 depending on the condition of your teeth. That's a reasonable price to me. And I'm pretty sure they won't be scared of Dr. Aaron. He was cheerful, patient and made sure that you feel comfortable.

If you guys are in the area or are looking for a dental clinic, I would recommend you give iFloss Dental Clinic a go. You can give them a ring at 03-64118010 to know more about their services or head to their website to book an appointment. 

Hope you have a nice day ♥

A REMINDER WHY I STARTED

Oh wow, has it almost been a year?

It's not that I haven't been writing much. I did but I never finished any of it ━ and also because I feel like they're not good enough. The number of drafts in here is... a lot. Some are finished, some aren't. 

But wait, nobody reads this blog anyway so why should I care if they're not good enough? Lol let's be honest. I do care about it. A LOT.

And that's a thing I'm trying to work on. I always think whatever I do isn't good enough. There's always someone better than me at everything I do so why bother? My answer to that: you don't lose anything if you try. Even if I have and I know the answer to it, it's still difficult for me to follow it. I just... can't.

I don't know if I've ever been the best in anything ━ pretty sure I haven't ━ but I know I've worked hard for a lot of things in my life. I just don't know where that part of me went. I don't understand. All I know is that it just... disappeared. Perhaps it disappeared because of life, no interest or academia ruined whatever love of writing I had. Or perhaps it also disappeared due to the realisation that I'll never be the best in anything or I'll never be good enough for anything. 

I found the photo/gif while scrolling through my Tumblr. Timely, isn't it? It appears during a time where I have difficulty in starting and restarting a lot of things. Among them; writing this blog, working out, cycling, meditating, and eating right. I try but I can't pull through. I always end up stopping halfway or just right before the finish line. And it's funny too because I tell myself that it's better that I try and finish it instead of leaving it incomplete or not doing anything in the first place. But I just... can't.

I'm pretty sure social pressure has gotten to me. They want everything to be perfect. They want your proportions to be aligned. They celebrate perfect dimensions and flawless individuals. And here I am, having neither of those mentioned and unmentioned. And it's funny too because what I have and the hard work I've put in makes me... me, also a thing being celebrated. But I just... can't.

And I'm pretty sure this is ━ or are ━ my insecurity talking. I have a lot of things I'm looking forward to experience and do but I noticed that lately, it always get dampened down by my own doing. It's always telling me I'm not good enough and always telling me that I haven't done enough. Sometimes I have had enough of it but most times, I give in because I just... can't.

But if you are reading this, thank you. It means a lot to me. I've lost the knack to write but I hope I can pick it up again. Writing has always been a healthy avenue for me to process my thoughts and feelings. I'm not good at it but it has always been fun. I had a close friend that read one of my posts on my blog the other day. He enjoyed it. He said it feels like going through an old journal, reminding him the good times we had in Brisbane and that made me feel good about myself and what I wrote. It made me feel good that someone enjoyed it. 

I know that blogs aren't much of a thing now like it was in its heydays. The advent of social media makes this almost obsolete. I know there are those that enjoy reading blogs but the appeal isn't the same like social media. It's not short and fast. It's not like TikTok where you can find random, educational and entertaining short videos. It's not like Instagram where it's visually appealing. It's not like Twitter where things are shared rapidly with a click. But does it matter if you enjoy writing a post on your blog? Guess not.

And perhaps, things aren't just not meant to be perfect and that's the best part of it. It's the best part because you're able to put in the work to make it better. It's like the progress photos I take of my face weekly regarding my acne journey ━ this is a story for another day lol. The more I write, the more you I'm able to notice the difference between the first post I've written months ago and the recent one I just wrote.  And the two things I need to make this work is consistency and hard work. And this applies to all the things I want to jump into again. I hope I'll be able to restart again. I hope I'll enjoy doing it. And I goddamn hope that I'll finally finish the drafts and post them haha.

Have a nice day ♥

SHEET MASKS I LOVE

Throughout MCO, I've had the opportunity to use a sheet mask everyday. My skin feels so dry if I don't use one during the day, and tbh, my skincare routine feels empty without it. So, I would like to share with you a list of sheet masks I love and where you can get them!

MY HORRIBLE EATING HABIT

This was taken in 2012. I thought the camera had took the photo... until we realised it was about to. Fun times.

Hello guys, Ramadhan Kareem to all that's observing the month. I hope you have a wonderful month ahead... and OMG we're almost halfway into 2019 already? Whew time flies so fast.

I want to share a personal fear of Ramadhan.

Every year when Ramadhan comes, I fear that I'll fall back into an unhealthy eating habit I was in my early teen years. I struggled a lot with my self-esteem and how I look. I was an early bloomer among my peers in primary school. I had acne at 10. I had my period at 10. I had dandruff at 10 and adults in my life are saying it's because of hormonal imbalance (TETTT WRONG). I was taller than most girls my age. I basically went through puberty earlier than my peers. Due to that, I would have clothes that are a size larger than my body because "I will grow into them".

In secondary school, I wasn't the prettiest or the smartest in my batch. I was ordinary. At this age, it's normal for one to want to stand out. And that had made me struggle more with my self-esteem and the way I looked at my body. I thought I was fat. I thought I was a size M or L. Back in school, we had to order new shirts for our sport house and other things every year. Since my first year, my seniors told me (more like instructed) that our shirts had to pass our bottoms. If not, they'll give you a look or more infamously called, "senior pandang slack". Worst case would be them calling you up and have a "talk" about why your shirt is too short.  Among other things, they would also say that it's required so that men won't look at your body lustfully. You know, the usual tutup aurat reminders (yaaaaaawns). Honestly sis, I don't find even myself attractive so why would anyone get attracted to that? Obviously I would go for M because the length needed to pass my bottom and... I thought I wasn't small. I thought I wasn't skinny. And M sizes can be quite big. I had acne but they're not horrible. I see my peers laugh at girls who aren't skinny or has a big butt. Maybe they were joking, maybe they were not. But that affected me and the way I saw myself. These inadvertently made me to believe that I wasn't pretty.

TALK BEHIND SOMEONE'S BACK

Photo taken during our trip to North Stradbroke Island, Easter 2018.

Hi.

I haven't posted anything for so long on this blog. *blows dust away**coughs coughs* But hopefully I will soon. A lot has happened since my last post. To simplify it, moved back to KL, got a job, sought for treatment in KL, resigned from job and now back in Brisbane (???) while still looking for a new job. I'm only here for a short vacation, like 2 weeks supposedly, but umm, I've extended it for a week now and might just extend it for another week and make this trip like a month's stay #ripmoney

Three things that have immensely changed ever since I moved back to KL; lifestyle, health and my motivation. I've also had a lot of really low lows and some really high highs. Hint: me going insane and me finally doing things I've wanted to do. But I'll keep that for a later post. I started doing meditation and it has helped reduce my anxiety and get a good night sleep. I've also lost my abs 😭 but that's because of me not working out at all. But I hope I'll include working out in my daily routine after this.

Before I leave, I want to share with you something that has been bringing me down these past few months, and it still gets to me until today. I always overthink about what others will/might think of me. In turn, it brings myself down. Like, really dooooown. But I can't help it because in the environment I was in, people talk about each other behind their backs and they gossip about each other. Oh you know, office gossip. I couldn't trust anyone although initially they said I could. It can be really scary when the thoughts consume me because I'm always assuming stuff and jumping into conclusions, and IDK if it's true or not. What if it's not? Then I'll feel bad for overthinking and for assuming things about everyone. But then, what if it's true? Oh, that's painful. It feels like you got stab in your heart by someone you look up to and someone you thought you could trust. What's worst? When you did something wrong to someone and instead of telling you that you hurt them, they talk about you behind your back and the ostracism slowly starts to feel, and be seen, visible. I am a person who is really scared of confrontation because of the flurry of thoughts that'll come in.

I DON'T KNOW IF I'M OKAY

This post may or may not shock you, but I just have to let this out.

I have been having thoughts about suicide. Just thoughts, not voices. But I haven't had the urge to act on it. And that's great, I guess.

I didn't tell anyone about it because I thought it's something I can push aside and not think about, and hope that it will get suppressed after some time. The thoughts don't come knocking on my mind everyday. It's sporadic. Sometimes it just stops by to remind me that it's still hanging around. And sometimes, it will knock on my door until I open it to make sure its presence is known. The thing that I hate the most about it is that it doesn't come at night now, it comes anytime it wants.

I live on the 6th floor and it provides me an amazing view of the sunrise and sunset. I love it so much. It's one of the reasons why I still wanted to continue renting this house. But it's also quite dangerous. Why? Because there are times when I think about  the odds of me being dead if I jump off from the 6th floor. Will I die or will I live? What if I continue to live? I'm gonna feel the pain of that big leap. I'll get hospitalized. My parents are gonna be devastated. I will feel my broken bones and my broken soul in a living body. But what if I just jump? What if that jump kills me instantly? What if?

MY ANXIETY

I have a problem, and it's a problem that I am still in denial with.

I have anxiety but I don't consider mine as a critical one because I know those who has it far worse than mine. But still, it is a problem and it might be worse than what I thought. And it's a problem that I can't fully accept even until today.

Both my doctors and my counselor said that I have anxiety, specifically "performance anxiety", as told by my counselor. I'm on antidepressant (Lexapro━a type of SSRI) now and thank God the side effects are gone. The first few weeks were hell for me. I was nauseous. I lost my appetite. I vomited. I was really drowsy after taking the pill. I couldn't do work. I was bed-ridden the first week of taking it. There were times when I didn't want to take it all because I didn't want to feel sick. And there were times I felt like I wanted to take more than one pill because I want my body to get used to it as soon as it could. But thank God it's all over now. My body has adapted to it. Goodbye nausea! But now I'm also taking Valium. It relaxes my muscles from continuously feeling tensed. It helps me get a good sleep.  I haven't had any good sleep in the past month. Sometimes I take a pill or two if I'm starting to feel on edge. But sometimes I don't take it because I don't want to be reliant on it.

MY FIRST EVER SEPHORA ONLINE PURCHASE

I just received my Sephora order 5 minutes ago and I am soooooooooooo excited hehe. It's partly because it's my first online order from Sephora and also one of the rare times I ever buy anything online (I loathe online shopping because... reasons). And I finally get a chance to own one of the best beauty tools ever in the make-up arena; the original beautyblender. I've been wanting to get a new blending sponge because my Real Techniques' miracle complexion sponge is pretty bad (so rabak already) and it needs to be replaced. And I've been eyeing on the beautyblender sponge for quite some time now and I'm so happy I can finally try and understand the hype behind it.

If you follow me on Twitter and Instagram, you would know how frustrated I was when the Beautyblender Pro On The Go set sold out (it was on sale for $30 from a $78!!). Long story short, by the time I filled in my details and clicked 'Pay Now' button, it was sold out (how frustrating). So a lesson I can take from this experience is; just buy, don't think, especially when there's a good deal on Sephora. The set includes 1 original beautyblender (pink), 1 beautyblender pro (black), 1 micro.mini pro, bloterazzi pro and blendercleanser solid pro. In Sephora Australia, the original beautyblender costs $30. So basically, I'm paying for the same price for a beautyblender, but I get more than just a beautyblender and that's a a great bargain!

So, you wanna know what I bought?

ONE THING THAT HAS MADE YOU BECOME A STRONGER PERSON

Yes, I'm finally doing this. And yes, I've succeeded in pushing myself to do this.

UQ's famous hallway at Forgan Smith Building.

Question 1:

What's one thing that's happened to you that has made you become a stronger person?

I believe a lot of things have happened to me in 22 years of my life. And all of it has made me become a stronger person. But one thing that has taught me more about myself and made me become a stronger person is my anxiety and my fear to fail.

You see, I'm so used to putting high expectations on myself and I've never struggled much in my studies (other than anything related to Maths, that was a bit challenging but I managed to pull through hehe). To me, everything I do has to reach a certain standard/achieve an expectation I've set so that I'll be happy with it. Anything that doesn't reach the standard or meet the expectation will not be something I'm proud of. Academically, I barely had a rough time. I'm so used to getting things done my way and I'm so used to getting what I want when I put my head and heart in it. But things weren't the same in 2016.

I failed 6 out of the 7 subjects I took. I couldn't finish my assignments because I lost hope in myself. I lost interest to study. The stress and anxiety became a huge issue (and I've never experienced this before). Nothing about academics impresses me anymore. I just couldn't do anything because I know I'm already failing and I didn't see the point of trying. I was ashamed of myself and I constantly blamed myself for everything. I just gave up, while at the same time tearing myself down because I quit, and that's so weak of me. And I was doing the thing I feared most this whole time, I failed. I failed in wanting to do my best. I failed in trying to be positive and enthusiastic. I failed in achieving my expectations. And I failed to want to continue, and decided to just let it all go and give up.

A LETTER FOR MY YOUTH

With the Queensland fam at National Aspiration Leadership Summit 2016.

We're so used to hearing that youths' voice can change the future but have we ever used it for a better cause?

It's sad to see a country falling apart economically and politically and it's sad to know that its youth aren't interested to know more about politics and economics. I understand where they're coming from. Things are getting out of hand and they don't know who and where they can put their faith into.

I know that they want to serve their country and make their people proud. I know that they really want to make their home a better place. And I know they're eager to realize a visionary future. A youth is capable of doing so many things beyond their capability. Yeah sure, there are risks involved but with the many resources available, the youth now is ready to take on any challenge they face and make sure they succeed in it.

As a youth myself, I hope that I can contribute something to my country. I hope to change our society's mindset to something more progressive that can assist us in realizing our dreams (and ultimately, Wawasan 2020). I hope there will be more faith tolerance and religious dicsussions. I want our society to be open to learn and understand something new. I hope our youth will use their inquisitive mind and curiosity to question about everything and anything they can. I hope that our youth will read more and sensationalize less about petty things in order to get a better comprehension of important matters.

I want them to know that in today's world, everything is a domino effect and the slightest change can affect us (and sometimes, affect us greatly). Be it change in US foreign policy, or a country deciding to no longer join a regional association like ASEAN. I want them to understand that in today's worl, everything is interconnected, and that includes our youth too.

We have to change our mentality and we have to see the bigger picture. Enough condemning things that are unfamiliar because right now, is the perfect time for us to learn, understand and appreciate. We might not have as much time as we have now when we're older. So consume time wisely and persevere through all the hardships we're currently going through. We will learn and we will be stronger and we deserve a better future; a future shaped by our very own youth. 

Have a nice day ♥

2016 RECAP

WARNING: LONG POST AHEAD.

Hello! I know it's already the 8th of January but I hope it's not too late to reflect on 2016 and highlight its greatest moments and the lessons I've learnt from it.

1. Appreciate the friends you have

This January alone, most of the people I am very close to and confide to the most are leaving me (sobs 😭😭😭). They've graduated last December and now, are ready to move on to a new phase in their lives (leaving me behind, of course). I've done so many things with them in 2016. I've hung out with them, shared things with them, explored new places with them, laughed with them, traveled with them and endured each others' lamest jokes together.

It's not like I'm not going to see them at all after this. I will, I really hope I will but things will be different since we'll have jobs and other obligations. It will not be the same like how it used to be. And that's one fact that I don't like but I have to face it.

I'm going to miss seeing these faces late night at the library and sharing a big halal snackpack together at the pantry. I'll miss the days where we'd talk about the most random things and share personal stuff over coffee (tea for me). These people have always had their faith in me in all the things I've done when I couldn't even believe in myself. They've been there for me during my highs and lows for a whole year, and now I've to go through another year without them.

I've learnt and shared so much from and with them. It's great to have a group of people that share the same views, have the same interest (almost) and am always down to help you when you need it the most. I not only got to know about them, I also got to know myself more because of the things we've done together. They have become my family here and they're definitely my "home away from home".

50 QUESTIONS ABOUT ME

The purple flowers are called Jacarandas. It's their blooming season currently and you can find an abundance of them on my campus in St Lucia, Brisbane.

Hi guys,

I found these questions on Twitter and I thought to myself, "why not we do it?". At least I have an incentive to write in the next 50 days or so. Or at least... I have something to write if I'm tired of doing my readings. We're having our finals here in UQ and I need some form of escape from doing my readings. At least it'll be a productive escape instead of me scrolling through Facebook, Instagram or Twitter. I can't answer all the questions in one post because I'm pretty sure it'll be long. And I know readers hate extremely long posts—I know this because I have to read 25-30 30+ pages academic articles on a weekly basis and because I'm a reader too,

I'll try my best to blog though but I can't promise to post in 50 consecutive days because I'm having my finals right now. So, here's a preview of the questions I'll be answering in the next 50 days—hopefully in exactly 50 days. Enjoy!

PET PEEVES: DIRTY KITCHEN

If you know me, you know how impatient I can be at times. And if you really know me and follow my tweets, you know that I always rant about my kitchen almost everyday. I cannot stand a dirty kitchen.

I am renting an apartment with 4 other girls and the kitchen is the most used common space in the house. You would assume that the kitchen is always neat and tidy since everyone uses it. But it's not. If you want me to get mad in a split-second, you should mess up the kitchen or not wash your dishes or not wiping the counters and stove or sweeping the kitchen floor after using it. It has never fail to piss me off. I cannot stand having a dirty kitchen.

I rarely cook and most of the time, I find myself cleaning the kitchen when I wanted to cook in the first place. I can't stand seeing both of my sinks full with unwashed dishes that are left for 2 days or more. I hate it when people just stack newly washed dishes on dry ones. And I really hate it when they don't arrange the dishes properly. I can't stand seeing grains or any spills on the counters or the stove. I can't stand walking in the kitchen when you can feel a lot of dusts or grains on the floor. I can't even stand being in the kitchen if the floor is oily. If all these things are not being attended to by the person responsible, I would do it. And I would make sure everything is cleaned before I start using the kitchen because I cannot stand using a dirty kitchen.

To me, it's common sense for you to wash your dishes after using it or immediately wipe a spill on the counter. But I don't know what's up with these people. I don't know why can't they do it. I'm pretty tired of always cleaning up after everyone else. At times it feels like I'm the kitchen maid, always washing up after everyone else. Earlier on, I am fine doing everyone's dishes. But now, I'm not because it's making some people irresponsible  and not using their common sense to wash after their mess. And it's gotten to a point where my morning starts with me ranting about how dirty and unorganized the kitchen is. It's not the best way to start my day and I pretty much hate it. I cannot stand having a dirty kitchen.

We are living in a house together but are we really living in a house together if it's only one person that's always cleaning up the kitchen? I'm paying the bills just like everyone else but it's not fair if I'm the only one taking care of the kitchen. Does this mean that everyone else is fine with a dirty kitchen but not me?

Have a nice day ♥

MASCA QUEENSLAND 2015/2016

Hi guys,

I just want to share my experience being a part of MASCA Queensland in hopes that it will inspire you to be a part of an incredible community.

Before I was in MASCA, I had no idea how Corporate Relations works. The only thing I know is that they are responsible to get sponsors. I had little to no experience in that field and I never thought I would get the hang of it.

I wanted to be a part of MASCA but I wasn't sure what position should I run for. I remember asking Hairul Hafiezul what position that suits best and straight away he answered, "CR". I wasn't confident with that position so I continued to ask him about the job scope of other positions, and I thought "hmmm maybe I can do Student Empowerment and it looks fun". But Hairul just kept on pushing me for CR.

#ANSWERINGASKS: LIFE UPDATE

hows life studying abroad? —Anonymous, via. Askfm

Hi there, anon! I would like to apologize for taking such a long time to answer your question. I thought that if I answered your question immediately, I wouldn't be able to give you a better description on how life is here. Plus, when you asked, I was only here for around 2-3 weeks and there was nothing much going on. However, since it has been a a year and 6 days, I think it would be the right time to explain how my life is.

It has been great! Lol no surprise there. I'll just break it down into sub-headings so it's easier for you to read.

• Studies

My first semester went well. I scored in subjects that I did not expect I would score. I gave up on one subject because I just don't understand and I don't like it (it was a compulsory subject), but thank God I passed it. My studies went down hill last semester because of two reasons, bad time management and lost of interest to study. I thought I could do the same things I did two semesters ago (doing things last minute and can still score) but I overlooked the fact that I now have a responsibility. So, yes, I failed all 4 subjects and have to extend a semester. As a result of that, my CGPA suffered the worst, dropping from a 4.75 to a 3 something. But it's all good because I have time to prepare and research on what to do when you have to extend a semester (see officers, call sponsor, forms forms forms), and now I know that my time management sucks big time and I have to fix that. Currently, I am taking 3 subjects for this semester because I'm taking two summer courses later (tak balik Malaysia ahhh camni 😟). I need to ace this semester in order to get my CGPA to a 4.0.

• Friends

2016 is the year where most of my friends will graduate and leave me alone in Australia. Some already went back in July and I have not cried so far. Okay okay maybe I did shed a few tears and was close to crying but I haven't properly cried like I lost someone. Sending someone back for good is painful because by the time you're back in Malaysia, we might be very busy and will never have the chance to meet and spend time together. This summer will be hard for me because the people that made my Summer 2015/2016 are graduating (I'm already tearing up thinking about this). And then I'll have to endure another year without them and I might not see them again 😭

• Work

I love CR work! It's still a new field to me and I'm still learning but I am loving it so far, despite getting straight up rejected and the pressures I get to do GOOD. It gave me a lot of insights about various industries, which back then, I tend to not care because why would I? I now know that a lot of companies are reaching out to students that are not from a field they're known for, which is a good thing, and how they are really trying hard to get Malaysian students to come back to Malaysia and work for the country. I'm still bad in networking but that doesn't stop me from wanting to make new connections and know more about companies. I'm now exposed to companies and corporations that I didn't know its existence before. It is a good thing because I have more choices when it comes to getting a job. To be frank, I'm not ready to let go of my position this October. I'm the first ever CR Director and I would like to think that I've done a good job so far. I did start everything from scratch, but with the help of my team. We did not have anyone to refer to so we relied on us. We worked with what we had. It's been a roller-coaster ride, but it's definitely worth it. I'm worried that the next person taking over might not do well. I don't want everything I've done so far to be wasted. There are a plethora of things Queensland can offer, it's just that we don't have the resources yet. We're handing over a lot of new things to the next council, I just don't want them to ruin everything we've built for Queensland's promising future. Just because I'm stepping down, it won't mean me leaving everything entirely. I still have to teach my successor lol. Also, I am currently busy preparing for MASCA Queensland's biggest event, Citra Malaysia 2016 happening on the 10th of September at Queen Street Mall. Alhamdulillah, the corporate relations division is doing extremely well despite a few hiccups. I just hope we can pull of this event with a bang.

• Travel

...... I've only traveled outside of Queensland less than 10 times lol. One time I went to Sydney (went to Sydney but didn't go to Sydney :< this is for another post) and the others were to Byron Bay and Banora Point. They're located in NSW but just near the border of QLD-NSW. I have seen the beautiful sunflower fields, located around Toowoomba-Nobby-Felton area. They are BEAUTIFUL! I've yet to head to the beaches in Sunshine Coast and in Noosa. I will be heading to Whitsunday Island (YASSSS!) in the end of October. And I might have a road trip (YASSSS!) to Melbourne during Spring Break in September. I'm supposed to travel to Tasmania in November but because my Korean classes starts 2 days after the last day of exam, I had to ditch that plan :(

I guess that's just it? Not much of an update. Plus, idk what to talk about lol. I am so sorry for not constantly updating my blog. I still have not published posts related to my sem breaks here. I'll try and blog more. I'll try :>

Have a nice day ♥

THE 'CUBE' TEST

I took this test 3 years back. A Petrosains colleague of mine asked me and I was so fascinated by it because it got everything right. Now, this test has resurfaced on Facebook and it is popular ever since Buzzfeed posted it. Go and try out the test. Here are my answers and tbh, it has not changed since I was first asked this.

The cube (ego)

My answer: My cube is big and is made out of glass. It's just right above the ground, maybe like 5 inches above. Looks like it's floating on one of its corner.

What does it mean? I have a big ego and am very open to people. I'm maybe grounded (?) because my cube's floating lol.

The ladder (friendships)

My answer: The ladder is leaning on the cube. The ladder is made out of wood, some sturdy wood just in case I need to climb it.

What does it mean? My friends can lean on me for support (yasss hehe) and I have a sturdy relationship with people (I like to think this way too but I don't think my bonds are strong).

The horse (relationships)

My answer: The horse is free, not strapped to anything and nothing strapped to it. It's just standing there, basking in the sun.

What does it mean? I don't want more control in my relationship and I don't like my relationships wild.

The flowers (kids)

My answer: The flowers are a lot. Not too many but quite a few lot. The flowers are sort of surrounding the floating cube.

What does it mean? Yesss I want a lot of kids but not like 10, having 4-6 kids would be just nice. I am thinking about kids but that's not what I'm thinking about most these days.

The storm (stress)

My answer: The storm is somewhere in the distance. Looks like it's approaching me. I'm pretty neutral about it because mehh, mother nature.

What does it mean? It's not near so I am not THAT stressed. Yet.

What are your answers? Does it say a lot about you?

Have a nice day ♥

A NASTY MORNING THOUGHT

This photo of a sunflower field was taken by the writer at Toowoomba, QLD in January 2016.

It has been raining for close to 5 hours now in Brisbane and it's not showing any signs of stopping anytime soon. I was woken up by sounds of slamming and banging, and things breaking. So I headed out to the living room with my roommate (woke my roommate up because I was scared of the dark and it was storming outside, which scared me more) to check if our things at the balcony are safe.

After that, I couldn't sleep anymore. I was having some really nasty thoughts in my head.

You see, it's June now (a.k.a. my favorite month of the year cuz you know *wink*) and I had two classmates back in school that had birthdays two days and a day before mine. So 6th, 7th and 8th of June will be like a triple birthday celebration for our class and our batch.

But the thing is, I felt betrayed by the girl who was born on the 6th of June. Why? She didn't like me and personally, I felt that she caused all the troubles I faced  in school when I was 13.

I'M JUST TRYING MY BEST TO GET THROUGH THIS SEMESTER

I think I just need to get this off of my chest before I start doing my overdue assignments.

I have been very anxious lately. It's not just about being anxious with my assignments, it's also about being anxious with my commitments. I've been worrying so much with my MASCA work until I neglected my studies, which has made me more anxious. And now, I am managing, well indirectly managing 2 sports, 3 sports for Queensland MASA Games team. I'm mostly searching for players but I never knew it can be so stressful. I'm worried if  MASCA Queensland's upcoming events would fail and I feel like I have a responsibility to not make it a failure. I feel accountable most of the time, even when I'm not supposed to feel that way.

I have neglected my studies so bad. I didn't submit one minor essay. I did not do 2 of my weekly policy briefs. I have an overdue major essay which amounts up to 45% of my grade. I have an essay due tomorrow that is still in its draft form. But I can't make myself do any of it. Idk how to write a proper essay anymore. I can't understand whatever I read. I feel like I have to restart all my essay writing skills but it's too late now. I'm just hoping to pass all to my subjects :<

Tbh, I never knew I could worry so much. At most of times, I can just jump into another topic without signalling the people involved in the conversation. I can't focus because I'm focused on a lot of things. I can laugh or/and cry so easily now (even cat videos make me cry). It's pretty obvious that my head's wrapped around so many things that I wish to resolve all at once but I can't. And all of this makes me more anxious.

I don't have anxiety attacks. In fact, I don't know how they are like. But I do get my nightmares whenever I sleep. So, I've never had a proper, fully rested kind of sleep. This has made me more tired, and I sleep a lot now. Sooooo, the cycle continues.

I feel like there's something missing but idk what it is. I know I have to get my shit together. I cannot fail a subject. I must pass. But I don't think I'm able to :< I feel like I've let myself down because I couldn't manage my time properly and for taking up a lot of work that I know I can't handle.

I'm not saying being a part of MASCA is a bad thing. It's definitely not. But I find it unfair that some of us are doing a lot more than anyone else. I feel pressured because I am responsible for getting more money for this organization but I can't do anything about if people turn down my offer. I do feel responsible for bringing in a lot of opportunities for the students here because they have so much potential and they can contribute a lot to a company and I don't want that to go to waste. But I have to refine my search area and search for organizations that are a bit more viable. And as much as I say that I will be away from any MASCA-related work, we all know it's a lie. I tried muting the Whatsapp group for a week but I just had to spam the group with irrelevant (they are relevant to me) things on the second day. Ha ha ha.

I don't want to fail but it's too late to do anything about it now. I think all I can do is soldier up and do well for my finals. I just want to pass.

Have a nice day ♥

I WANNA BE A BILLIONAIRE, SO FREAKING BAD

Whitsunday Island, QLD. Thanks Momentum for hooking me up with gorgeous views like this.

Today, I headed to the city after class with my good friend, Aidiq. On our way back, we stopped by a convenience store so that I can reload my Go Card (Queensland's version of Touch n' Go but can only be used for public transports). We saw a scratchie and written on it was, "if you're lucky, you just might win $1,000,000!". We thought that it'd be pretty sick if we just buy one, and who knows we might just get lucky. But we didn't buy it because 'judi' is haram, my brothers and sisters.

While on or way to the bus stop to head back home, Aidiq asked me what will I do if I received a million dollars. And it had me thinking... this could be a great blog post, just talking about all the things I want to do with the money lol. I know it sounds like a really bad post but I just have to do this since I'm trying my best to blog more now hehe.

"Apa kau nak buat dengan duit tu eh? Kalau convert pun, kau dapat around hmm, MYR3,000,000. Banyak gila kot duit tu."

#LIFEUPDATE 2

Sunrise at The Esplanade, Newcastle. NSW. Photo was taken during our roadtrip from Brisbane to Melbourne in Spring Break 2016.

Just wanted to drop in and say hi. Not like a lot of people are reading this though but at least you know I'm still actively trying to blog.

It's Week 5 of the semester and submissions are starting to dawn upon us uh-oh. Workload's getting heavier after a week of break. I'll blog about my Easter break in another post coming soon. So far, so good for me. I have one submission this week and another one next week, both are a 1k word essay. It's pretty hard than what you think it is because you gotta be able to construct concise sentences when you have so many ideas to talk about. Last semester, I had to do an 800 word essay and I swear it will be an essay I will never want to do again because 800 words is so little, it's so limited. I just can't....

I'm trying out this new diet (?) if you can consider it as a diet. I have managed to, unconsciously, not eat chicken for 6 days straight a week before Easter Break. So, I pretty much think I can do it again. I'm trying to test myself and see how far I can go without chicken in a week.

Also, I can't believe it's April now. Time flies so fast when you're having fun. I'm not kidding when I tell you that I am having fun despite having to fulfill my duties as a MASCA representative and a student. I think I can find balance between work and my study. I actually like dong my CR work, to be honest, but it has slowed down because classes have started. As much as I 'membebel' it to Azmir, we all know how much I love it. I feel dedicated and obliged to bring in the best opportunities for my students here in Queensland. Although Queensland does not have many students like Victoria and New South Wales, but I will not let that be a reason for me to stop pulling in more opportunities for the students here. We have a lot of great talents here in Queensland, I just need to find the right ones (and interested ones, too) to allow them to expand and unleash their potential.

On a personal note, I like where I am today. I'm not fully contented but I'm fairly satisfied with what I have. I'm happy with the people that I'm surrounded with. I'm truly blessed to have known these wonderful people and for having them around when I need them. It's gonna be hard for me when they graduate because they're not gonna be physically around (and also I'm a cry baby). And I'm also very happy with the person I'm with now. It's still early but at least we're working towards one mutual goal. And I like the fact that we're so different, we complement each other really well. And I'm just really happy now. He's the most adorable thing on Earth, cats coming in second lol.

Have a nice day ♥