REVENGE IS SWEET AND BEST SERVED COLD




I recently successfully managed to find my schoolmates from SK Desa Cemerlang (SKDC). YAYY!! Thank goodness I suddenly had the idea to just search them up on any social sites that I have hehe. Buuuuuuut that's not the thing I wanted to write about.

You see, there's a particular reason why I have been searching them for years. And it's not just because I want to re-connect with them. These people have made an impact in my years when I was a student in SKDC. It's both bad and good but most of it, hilarious and I sort of wanted to avenge for the bad things I'd faced.

I went to a kindergarten where the kids are mostly Chinese and only a minority of them are Malays. So, the main language used would be—yes, you know it—English! So, it's because I was taught in that language and I grew up around it, it made me more comfortable communicating in that language. But things changed when I went to primary school. The majority of them were Malay and most of them gave the vibe that they weren't comfortable speaking in English. It's not that i couldn't speak Bahasa Malaysia at all (I could actually! I talked and screamed in Bahasa Malaysia when I was playing with my neighbors) but I was more used to and more comfortable using English. Even if so, I still tried y'know. I made an effort to not be so shocked with the new culture. However, my efforts weren't enough, I guess. I was taunted, hated and discriminated by my Malay peers. A girl even said "Aku benci kau!" (I hate you) to my face—and she miraculously made into my hate list. Nonetheless, there were still some who were really nice to me. Sadly, one of them died in Ramadhan 2013 due to lymphoma. I didn't even had the chance to say hi to her hmm :(


Back to the real story...


I want to avenge my past (uuuuu sounds so evil). I want to know that I've won. I want to know that I am much, much, much more successful than them. I want to know that the pain I felt back then is worth it. I want them to know that thanks to them, I am where I am. But what do I have to prove in the end? What am I proving? It's not just about self satisfaction, I'm trying to prove that bullies would lose by the end of the day and the victims are pure survivors. It's okay for you to be in your lowest times and be weak because it'll give you time to harvest your strengths and let you focus on your goals.

Yes, I may sound very mean in here and you guys would be like, "Apa masalah perempuan ni?", "Creepy dohh dia ni", "Apa si dia nak sebenarnya?" and/or "Tak baik berdendam" but to me, it's good if you do it for a healthy competition and for an avenue for you to improve yourself. I've been doing this since forever but no worries, kita tak makan hati haha. I'll just remember what you did to me and make sure that you would regret for the things you had said/done to me.

Anyways, please don't think I'm a psycho. Maybe the things that I'm expressing aren't signaling off to you in the correct manner, so we might not be on the same page. Nevertheless, I'll remember you if you made an impact in my life.


Have a nice day



IT GETS BETTER



Believing in the idea that if I do something extremely well, I will get something really good. Therefore, if I just keep on persevering and endure through all of these struggles with exuberance and strong determination, I will be rewarded.

And yes, it will get better if I don't give up. It will get better if I keep on trying. And true, there will be people who would try to bring you down and there will be events that will bury you deep into the ground, but you must always fight and make sure you bring a shovel along too lol.

Because with it all, it does get better.



Have a nice day




MY INTRODUCTORY SPEECH





What happens when a white light passes through a prism? It'll show you its beautiful colors. What happens when you face a prism? You will finally show your true colors.

Ladies and gentlemen, I'm ........... and I was bullied when I was 13 years old and I had to endure that for 2 and half years. I had no friends from my class till I was 15. I remember how nobody wanted to pick me as their group mate, how my pencil box was constantly thrown out of the window and how they threw away my key so that I can't open up my locker. There was even a time when they ganged up on me with the girls from other classes and started to say hate words to my face. That was my prism and I was that plain, ordinary white light. But after passing through that tormentous roadblock (prism), I finally showed my true colors that taught me a lot of things.

Among the things that I learnt from this prism is that you don't live to please people. Because I had no friends of my gender at that time, I did a lot of stuffs to make them like me. For example, I became a suck up and did most of the work in group projects just so they would appreciate me but it didn't turn out as planned. They took most of the credit and blamed me for not doing anything. This showed me that it's not worthy of me sacrificing my own happiness for others if they would still bring you down.

Secondly, I learnt that no one can dictate your life but you. My confidence and self-esteem was entirely crushed while getting through the prism. It came to a point where I would just let them do whatever they want to do to me because I thought that I couldn't get a tight grip on my life until I managed to do extremely well in my exams, which eventually surprised them and shut their mouths up.

Lastly, it taught me that good things really come to those who wait. Although I was nearing to the edge, where I would just give up but I didn't. I became patient and persevered doing what I do best and in the end, it paid off. The bully finally moved out of school -and not to brag or anything- but I achieved more success than they think I could. I managed to soar higher than each and every one of them. And I'm proud of myself for that.

People see roadblocks and prisms as an object unworthy to be a part of your life, but I find it extremely worthy. In fact, I am grateful for being in that situation because it made me stronger by the end of the day and it made me want to prove them wrong from time to time, that I am not what they think I am. By the end of the day, ladies and gentlemen, you should be proud of what you went through and smile because that is what makes you be better than before.



Have a nice day