Posts

TALK BEHIND SOMEONE'S BACK

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Hi.

I haven't posted anything for so long on this blog. *blows dust away**coughs coughs* But hopefully I will soon. A lot has happened since my last post. To simplify it, moved back to KL, got a job, sought for treatment in KL, resigned from job and now back in Brisbane (???) while still looking for a new job. I'm only here for a short vacation, like 2 weeks supposedly, but umm, I've extended it for a week now and might just extend it for another week and make this trip like a month's stay #ripmoney
Three things that have immensely changed ever since I moved back to KL; lifestyle, health and my motivation. I've also had a lot of really low lows and some really high highs. Hint: me going insane and me finally doing things I've wanted to do. But I'll keep that for a later post. I started doing meditation and it has helped reduce my anxiety and get a good night sleep. I've also lost my abs 😭 but that's because of me not working out at all. But I hope…

I DON'T KNOW IF I'M OKAY

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This post may or may not shock you, but I just have to let this out.
I have been having thoughts about suicide. Just thoughts, not voices. But I haven't had the urge to act on it. And that's great, I guess.
I didn't tell anyone about it because I thought it's something I can push aside and not think about, and hope that it will get suppressed after some time. The thoughts don't come knocking on my mind everyday. It's sporadic. Sometimes it just stops by to remind me that it's still hanging around. And sometimes, it will knock on my door until I open it to make sure its presence is known. The thing that I hate the most about it is that it doesn't come at night now, it comes anytime it wants.
I live on the 6th floor and it provides me an amazing view of the sunrise and sunset. I love it so much. It's one of the reasons why I still wanted to continue renting this house. But it's also quite dangerous. Why? Because there are times when I think about…