A BIG LOSS

Lost a friend of mine yesterday. He got involved in an unfortunate accident and was injured seriously. He died on the spot.

I will miss talking to him and curse on guys who made me feel so insecure. I will miss his brutally honest yet funny comments about me. I will miss sharing and exchanging life stories with him. I will miss getting lunch with, especially because he knows just what I want to eat and he'll make sure I will get it. I will miss his jolliness and his positive aura. I will miss those twinkling eyes everytime he is giving an advice. I will miss that cheerful laughter and those stab-in-the-heart sarcasm coming from a tall, lean guy with an almost bulging tummy but still looks cute and attractive with that sweet smile that has never disappeared on his face.

I will miss Ekram Misri as a brother, a friend and a co-worker (I will miss manning the locker station with you, especially). I knew I should've kept your old ID a little bit longer hehe.

I hope you rest in peace and I hope God blesses your soul. You are an angel to everyone, Ekram and you will be dearly missed.

Always cherish the ones you care before you lose them ♥

A BIG ANNOUNCEMENT

I have a lot of good news to share with you, right now. Hmm I don't even know where to start! I know it has been a really stressful week for me but the things that had happened last weekend really made things up.

Firstly, Taylor's Debate Open 2013 was so much fun. First, it's because I finally get to be around the faces I'm familiar with. Second, there were a lot of extremely good debaters and how I wish I'll be good as them soon. Third, new friendships made, old friendships rekindled. Fourth and lastly, it was a lot of fun hanging out with the debaters from INTEC and other institutions as well. I know I'm no longer active debating but events like this never fails to remind me why I love debating in the first place and why I wanted to take up International Relations as my field of study.

Secondly, this is the most important thing I want to tell you! And yes, it is about that picture up there! Yes, you got it right. I GOT ACCEPTED TO JOIN GLOBAL STARTUP YOUTH 2013!!!!!!

When I sent my application for it, I was just fooling around. The pitching video I did was horrible, playful and horrible ugh. But the results were totally unexpected. AND YES I AM SO HAPPY I GOT SELECTED TO BE A PART OF A WHOLE NEW WORLD THAT I HAVE NO CLUE WHAT IT IS ABOUT BUT I AM STILL EXCITED BECAUSE I GET TO LEARN ABOUT NEW THINGS!!!!!!!

Buuuuuuuuuut it's risky if I go. I'll have to miss 4 days of classes and my finals is in two weeks after the camp. It's like an opportunity cost. Whatever I choose, I would still have to sacrifice something and those 'somethings' are really important in my life. Hmmm, I wish my decision wouldn't make me cry and regret for life.

Have a nice day ♥

UPDATE: I went to the camp and it was so fun!!!! And I did pretty well for my finals too. So grateful that everything went well.

CLASSIFICATION ESSAY : SALES REPRESENTATIVE

It is highly impossible for an employer to find the perfect employee by means of physical traits and personality. When you live in a small world that has 7 billion people living in it, chances are 1 to a billion to find the perfect employee. Now comes in the dilemma of how an employer chooses someone to represent the company in sales. A sales representative is not just the person that represents the company to the public, but also the person responsible in increasing the sales of the company by convincing consumers to buy their latest product. Since society, in itself, varies in a lot of ways, this is where the personality of the sales representative becomes important. The personality trait of a sales representative that is suitable to execute this job is the lone wolf, the relationship builder and the hard worker.

The lone wolf is known for being an egocentric and for following their own rules. This kind of people is selfish due to their competitive nature. Even if so, they can still co-operate with others although they mostly work on their own. For example, in a team, the lone wolf would complete a task by themselves than being in a pair because they prefer to keep their ideas to themselves than to share with someone else. This is because when sharing ideas, there is the tendency of an idea to be stolen and the lone wolf dislikes that. Apart from that, the lone wolf is undefined by the rules because they usually follow their own rules. They have the desire to re-do things their own way despite changes in the policy of the company. This makes them capable to still be themselves after going through a lot of different situations. The competitiveness and the ability to stay true to themselves makes the lone wolf a perfect personality for a sales representative.

The relationship builder is the kind who is very generous with the customers and helps solve problems. This kind is focused on building a long-term relationship with both the customers and co-workers. They are usually friendly and full with enthusiasm, hence making the atmosphere more comfortable when they're around. Relationship builders can talk about anything and everything with their customers on the belief that when a solid relationship has existed, the consumers would trust the products of the company by buying it, thus boosting sales. On another note, this kind is like a problem solver because they are really helpful to the customers in addressing typical shopping problems like, "is it worth spending $2000 on this Jimmy Choo shoe ? What color does this dress go perfectly with ? ...". Due to their friendly approach and being a problem solver, the relationship builder is also another personality suitable for a sales representative.

Finally, the hard worker is famously known as the kind who are eager for improvement and can be mistaken as a debater. They welcome and appreciate feedbacks and constructive criticism as it allows them room to improve in areas they are weak at. From there, improvement made would result in providing a better service for their customers. The hard worker is always prepared for their customers as their customers are their main priority. By improving themselves and be fully prepared, the customers would feel satisfied with the sales representative and also, might buy the product the hard worker is selling. Besides that, the hard worker has provocative and unique points of view, which gives them an edge in selling products or to create profitable sales. In meetings, they tend to question everything and be the devil's advocate just so that the decision made in the end benefits them and the stakeholders, which explains why they are often deemed as the debater. The eagerness of wanting to be better and owning different views makes the hard worker a 'must trait' for a sales representative.

The three traits of a sales representative that is beyond perfect to pull of this job is the hard worker, the relationship builder and the lone wolf. Although individualistic, the lone wolf is competitive and is true to itself. The relationship builder is what customers are looking for because they are friendly and helpful. The hard worker provides better service for the customers because of self-improvement. Being a sales representative may look and sound easy but it is not. They have to deal with different kinds of people everyday and give out new strategies to increase sales. These traits are what an employer looks for and what an employer needs in their employees, specifically, sales representative. Both carry the same mission but it is the duty of the sales representative to attract customers with their amazing personalities.

Have a nice day ♥

I AM NOT OK

I bet everyone had fun at INTEC's Mega Raya. No, not me. I just broke down and cried instead of laughing and smiled.

I think it's the first wave, it's just the beginning but I hope it'll end soon. Ugh I can't bear this anymore, blog. I have no one here that I can turn to. I feel so lonely. Yes, I do have friends but none of them are those who I would run to if I want to confide something. It's really hard, blog. I don't even think they like me.

Everytime when we're free in class, I'm always sitting alone and no one approaches me, unlike the others. What makes me so different from them? Do I stink? Am I ugly? Do I have horns on my head ? If we were to form a group, I'm always the last to be chosen and I've never heard anyone screamed, "Yaya, let's form a group together!". Never, unlike the others. No one goes excited when I'm at the front doing a speech or explaining something, unlike the others. What is wrong with me? I know I'm not funny but my remarks are (or so I think...). I just feel isolated, useless and miserable. And these are why I keep myself extremely busy just so I could take my mind off of this crap. I know it's no use thinking about it but if that's what you're facing everyday, please suggest me any kind of form for me to pretend like this is not happening at all.

I never cared about how busy I am or how busy I can get. As long as I'm not thinking of what's happening in class, I am fine with that. But no. It mounted more and more pressure on myself, day by day. I know that I've reached my breaking point but do you know what makes me to keep on persevering and hold myself together and not cry? I feel really vulnerable when I cry. Even though I'm shedding a tear or two, I feel that the walls I built to protect me was taken down piece by piece, showing how weak I am inside. And I'm showing it to everyone. I don't like that. I never liked the idea of showing my vulnerability to others, even to those I'm close to. Somehow, only those who knows me best can see it even if I'm not showing it.

I need that human-to-human relationship. I need that companionship which allows me to just reveal anything I want, anytime and without stigmatizing me and my words. A relationship that makes me feel comfortable to be vulnerable and he/she/they would not use that advantage against me. I am very protective of those who I love but I rarely protect myself. And I guess that is the reason why I'm scared. I'm not talking about commitments or even a romantic relationship. I'm talking about a friendship that I have never had or maybe I did, but it got lost while we grew up. The kind of friendship that would never abandon me or abase my dignity in any way and would always be there for me, no matter what. I do not want that relationship, I need that relationship. I hope I'll get to have it soon, in the most unexpected, unconventional way possible. That may sound like a start of a wonderful friendship, don't you think ?

Hope you have this kind of relationship :)

Have a nice day ♥

OPEN HOUSE WITH MY SULTANS OF SCIENCE CO-WORKERS

A day well spent with Sultan of Science mates, eventhough I was stuck in a car with Zarif for 2 hours zzzzz. It was fun. How can I not miss these people ?

Have a nice day ♥

SELANGOR MUN 2013

Selangor MUN 2013 was fun although the ICC decided to dissolve after we completed our first case 😡 That was the most problematic council in this year's SMUN but it's okay because it was the first time ever that the ICC was in any Malaysia's MUN. So, because of its dissolvement, the ICC delegates had to join other councils. I joined SOCHUM and I was, yes, the delegate from the USA. Wooooo go veto! Haha.

SOCHUM was so much fun because;

1. They had a lot of delegates, unlike ICC, which was supposed to be around 12 but only 5 turned up. 
2. The delegates were so outspoken and fun and smart.
3. SOCHUM was less stressful than ICC.
4. Since I was unfamiliar with how SOCHUM works, the other delegates were so kind enough to help me out especially Saudi Arabia, Republic of Korea, Iran, Singapore/China, Norway and Russia. Oh, and the delegate from Sweeden/UK is so cute too (I think his name is Joey, so cute I tell you!). I didn't take pictures at all but at least I made a few friends.

I would love to join MUN again since it is sort of aligned with the course I'm majoring in and you know, when you're surrounded by bright, smart-ass people, that's when it drives you to want to be as good as them. I love it.

Have a nice day ♥

A RANDOM SEARCH LED ME TO THIS...

This is Anis Athirah's blog. Click on the pciture to visit her blog!

I was randomly googling up "alyfrhnh" (because why not?) and I found this blog. It's nice to know that your blog motivates someone in a way, especially when they'll be facing a huge exam that's going to shape their future.

Good luck Anis Athirah for your upcoming trials and SPM  Remember, don't repeat the mistake that I did. I'm pretty confident you wouldn't want to feel that broken and I know you're gonna do fine!

Have a nice day ♥

FRIEND OR FOE?

I have this classmate of mine and her name's Annalisa Iryanna, but we call her Lisa.

She's a bit smaller than me but not short. She has skinny legs and has fair skin. She hails all the way from Seremban, Negeri Sembilan. I like her accent especially when she talks in English. Ooh yes, I envy that. I envy that a lot. And no, I shall not post a picture of her here without her consent lol.

You see, we had a spontaneous oral communication test today and you've to give a speech about a meaningful object to yourself. Lisa talked about this normal exercise book which, it was lost then found, a teacher wrote a meaningful note for her and that changed who Lisa was in that time. From a timid girl, she no longer became shy. Because of that note, she gained her self-confidence and she is the Lisa that I see today. Her speech was so smooth and in some way, was as if she was story-telling to the whole class, made me feel threatened haha. Yes, I am dead serious.

But then again, I don't have the skills to give a speech especially when it comes to public speaking. My humor is so dry. And the way I deliver a speech is like me debating. That sucks.

These are the reasons why I felt threatened. It was because I felt I was not in anyway, compatible at all nor was I the best competitor for her. I felt that she towers over me in almost every class and that irritates me, really. I don't like being second best.

So, what do I have to do now ?

Looks like I need to make sure that I score as good as her or maybe, higher than her (omg I think it really shows how competitive I am). But hey, it's a healthy competition. We're not fighting or anything (maybe we are in our minds...). I don't see how beneficial it is to me and to Lisa if we were to bring one another down. That's just wrong dude. We should promote a conducive environment for you to study in.

I'm gonna make it happen. 'It' referring to scoring as good as my competition or hopefully, better and in order for me to achieve that is to make sure I study smart and focus to make it happen!

Have a nice day ♥

Update: In Eidulfitri 2014, I found out that Lisa is the daughter of my dad's childhood bestfriend. And her family is very close to my Nanny, my dad's mom. She also went through the things I experienced with regards to being ostracized because of our English. Ahhh the wonders in life.

I HAVE FAITH IN YOU AND YOU SHOULD TOO

This is a post dedicated especially to those trying their best to adjust themselves in a new life/situation/environment since most of my friends are.

I know that it maybe quite different or extremely different but you know what, if you want to fit in with the whole new situation you're in, believe in yourself that you can and just be you. You don't have the need to pretend as if you're someone else because that would eat you up later. Also, you should always have faith in yourself in whatever you do or say because that's the first person you have to have faith in; Y O U. If you don't have faith in yourself, that's when you're not going to be yourself and start to lose grip on what you hold.

We all know that for some people, it is quite hard to cope with all these new stuffs but here's one thing? Would you allow yourself to lose the battle and quit? Would you allow yourself to regret after you quit? Be my guest if you want to. But if you were to be you, I bet you wouldn't allow all those to happen, right? That shows how little faith you have in yourself, what more in others.

So....

Don't quit. Believe in yourself. Be you.

Because eventually, you'll get a hold of this new world if you hold on to those three sentences.

Have a nice day ♥

EMINENT'S GRADUATION DAY

♥ Eminent 0812 very very very much. You guys will always be my second family.