50 QUESTIONS ABOUT ME

The purple flowers are called Jacarandas. It's their blooming season currently and you can find an abundance of them on my campus in St Lucia, Brisbane.

Hi guys,

I found these questions on Twitter and I thought to myself, "why not we do it?". At least I have an incentive to write in the next 50 days or so. Or at least... I have something to write if I'm tired of doing my readings. We're having our finals here in UQ and I need some form of escape from doing my readings. At least it'll be a productive escape instead of me scrolling through Facebook, Instagram or Twitter. I can't answer all the questions in one post because I'm pretty sure it'll be long. And I know readers hate extremely long posts—I know this because I have to read 25-30 30+ pages academic articles on a weekly basis and because I'm a reader too,

I'll try my best to blog though but I can't promise to post in 50 consecutive days because I'm having my finals right now. So, here's a preview of the questions I'll be answering in the next 50 days—hopefully in exactly 50 days. Enjoy!

PET PEEVES: DIRTY KITCHEN

If you know me, you know how impatient I can be at times. And if you really know me and follow my tweets, you know that I always rant about my kitchen almost everyday. I cannot stand a dirty kitchen.

I am renting an apartment with 4 other girls and the kitchen is the most used common space in the house. You would assume that the kitchen is always neat and tidy since everyone uses it. But it's not. If you want me to get mad in a split-second, you should mess up the kitchen or not wash your dishes or not wiping the counters and stove or sweeping the kitchen floor after using it. It has never fail to piss me off. I cannot stand having a dirty kitchen.

I rarely cook and most of the time, I find myself cleaning the kitchen when I wanted to cook in the first place. I can't stand seeing both of my sinks full with unwashed dishes that are left for 2 days or more. I hate it when people just stack newly washed dishes on dry ones. And I really hate it when they don't arrange the dishes properly. I can't stand seeing grains or any spills on the counters or the stove. I can't stand walking in the kitchen when you can feel a lot of dusts or grains on the floor. I can't even stand being in the kitchen if the floor is oily. If all these things are not being attended to by the person responsible, I would do it. And I would make sure everything is cleaned before I start using the kitchen because I cannot stand using a dirty kitchen.

To me, it's common sense for you to wash your dishes after using it or immediately wipe a spill on the counter. But I don't know what's up with these people. I don't know why can't they do it. I'm pretty tired of always cleaning up after everyone else. At times it feels like I'm the kitchen maid, always washing up after everyone else. Earlier on, I am fine doing everyone's dishes. But now, I'm not because it's making some people irresponsible  and not using their common sense to wash after their mess. And it's gotten to a point where my morning starts with me ranting about how dirty and unorganized the kitchen is. It's not the best way to start my day and I pretty much hate it. I cannot stand having a dirty kitchen.

We are living in a house together but are we really living in a house together if it's only one person that's always cleaning up the kitchen? I'm paying the bills just like everyone else but it's not fair if I'm the only one taking care of the kitchen. Does this mean that everyone else is fine with a dirty kitchen but not me?

Have a nice day ♥

MASCA QUEENSLAND 2015/2016

Hi guys,

I just want to share my experience being a part of MASCA Queensland in hopes that it will inspire you to be a part of an incredible community.

Before I was in MASCA, I had no idea how Corporate Relations works. The only thing I know is that they are responsible to get sponsors. I had little to no experience in that field and I never thought I would get the hang of it.

I wanted to be a part of MASCA but I wasn't sure what position should I run for. I remember asking Hairul Hafiezul what position that suits best and straight away he answered, "CR". I wasn't confident with that position so I continued to ask him about the job scope of other positions, and I thought "hmmm maybe I can do Student Empowerment and it looks fun". But Hairul just kept on pushing me for CR.

#ANSWERINGASKS: LIFE UPDATE

hows life studying abroad? —Anonymous, via. Askfm

Hi there, anon! I would like to apologize for taking such a long time to answer your question. I thought that if I answered your question immediately, I wouldn't be able to give you a better description on how life is here. Plus, when you asked, I was only here for around 2-3 weeks and there was nothing much going on. However, since it has been a a year and 6 days, I think it would be the right time to explain how my life is.

It has been great! Lol no surprise there. I'll just break it down into sub-headings so it's easier for you to read.

• Studies

My first semester went well. I scored in subjects that I did not expect I would score. I gave up on one subject because I just don't understand and I don't like it (it was a compulsory subject), but thank God I passed it. My studies went down hill last semester because of two reasons, bad time management and lost of interest to study. I thought I could do the same things I did two semesters ago (doing things last minute and can still score) but I overlooked the fact that I now have a responsibility. So, yes, I failed all 4 subjects and have to extend a semester. As a result of that, my CGPA suffered the worst, dropping from a 4.75 to a 3 something. But it's all good because I have time to prepare and research on what to do when you have to extend a semester (see officers, call sponsor, forms forms forms), and now I know that my time management sucks big time and I have to fix that. Currently, I am taking 3 subjects for this semester because I'm taking two summer courses later (tak balik Malaysia ahhh camni 😟). I need to ace this semester in order to get my CGPA to a 4.0.

• Friends

2016 is the year where most of my friends will graduate and leave me alone in Australia. Some already went back in July and I have not cried so far. Okay okay maybe I did shed a few tears and was close to crying but I haven't properly cried like I lost someone. Sending someone back for good is painful because by the time you're back in Malaysia, we might be very busy and will never have the chance to meet and spend time together. This summer will be hard for me because the people that made my Summer 2015/2016 are graduating (I'm already tearing up thinking about this). And then I'll have to endure another year without them and I might not see them again 😭

• Work

I love CR work! It's still a new field to me and I'm still learning but I am loving it so far, despite getting straight up rejected and the pressures I get to do GOOD. It gave me a lot of insights about various industries, which back then, I tend to not care because why would I? I now know that a lot of companies are reaching out to students that are not from a field they're known for, which is a good thing, and how they are really trying hard to get Malaysian students to come back to Malaysia and work for the country. I'm still bad in networking but that doesn't stop me from wanting to make new connections and know more about companies. I'm now exposed to companies and corporations that I didn't know its existence before. It is a good thing because I have more choices when it comes to getting a job. To be frank, I'm not ready to let go of my position this October. I'm the first ever CR Director and I would like to think that I've done a good job so far. I did start everything from scratch, but with the help of my team. We did not have anyone to refer to so we relied on us. We worked with what we had. It's been a roller-coaster ride, but it's definitely worth it. I'm worried that the next person taking over might not do well. I don't want everything I've done so far to be wasted. There are a plethora of things Queensland can offer, it's just that we don't have the resources yet. We're handing over a lot of new things to the next council, I just don't want them to ruin everything we've built for Queensland's promising future. Just because I'm stepping down, it won't mean me leaving everything entirely. I still have to teach my successor lol. Also, I am currently busy preparing for MASCA Queensland's biggest event, Citra Malaysia 2016 happening on the 10th of September at Queen Street Mall. Alhamdulillah, the corporate relations division is doing extremely well despite a few hiccups. I just hope we can pull of this event with a bang.

• Travel

...... I've only traveled outside of Queensland less than 10 times lol. One time I went to Sydney (went to Sydney but didn't go to Sydney :< this is for another post) and the others were to Byron Bay and Banora Point. They're located in NSW but just near the border of QLD-NSW. I have seen the beautiful sunflower fields, located around Toowoomba-Nobby-Felton area. They are BEAUTIFUL! I've yet to head to the beaches in Sunshine Coast and in Noosa. I will be heading to Whitsunday Island (YASSSS!) in the end of October. And I might have a road trip (YASSSS!) to Melbourne during Spring Break in September. I'm supposed to travel to Tasmania in November but because my Korean classes starts 2 days after the last day of exam, I had to ditch that plan :(

I guess that's just it? Not much of an update. Plus, idk what to talk about lol. I am so sorry for not constantly updating my blog. I still have not published posts related to my sem breaks here. I'll try and blog more. I'll try :>

Have a nice day ♥

THE 'CUBE' TEST

I took this test 3 years back. A Petrosains colleague of mine asked me and I was so fascinated by it because it got everything right. Now, this test has resurfaced on Facebook and it is popular ever since Buzzfeed posted it. Go and try out the test. Here are my answers and tbh, it has not changed since I was first asked this.

The cube (ego)

My answer: My cube is big and is made out of glass. It's just right above the ground, maybe like 5 inches above. Looks like it's floating on one of its corner.

What does it mean? I have a big ego and am very open to people. I'm maybe grounded (?) because my cube's floating lol.

The ladder (friendships)

My answer: The ladder is leaning on the cube. The ladder is made out of wood, some sturdy wood just in case I need to climb it.

What does it mean? My friends can lean on me for support (yasss hehe) and I have a sturdy relationship with people (I like to think this way too but I don't think my bonds are strong).

The horse (relationships)

My answer: The horse is free, not strapped to anything and nothing strapped to it. It's just standing there, basking in the sun.

What does it mean? I don't want more control in my relationship and I don't like my relationships wild.

The flowers (kids)

My answer: The flowers are a lot. Not too many but quite a few lot. The flowers are sort of surrounding the floating cube.

What does it mean? Yesss I want a lot of kids but not like 10, having 4-6 kids would be just nice. I am thinking about kids but that's not what I'm thinking about most these days.

The storm (stress)

My answer: The storm is somewhere in the distance. Looks like it's approaching me. I'm pretty neutral about it because mehh, mother nature.

What does it mean? It's not near so I am not THAT stressed. Yet.

What are your answers? Does it say a lot about you?

Have a nice day ♥

A NASTY MORNING THOUGHT

This photo of a sunflower field was taken by the writer at Toowoomba, QLD in January 2016.

It has been raining for close to 5 hours now in Brisbane and it's not showing any signs of stopping anytime soon. I was woken up by sounds of slamming and banging, and things breaking. So I headed out to the living room with my roommate (woke my roommate up because I was scared of the dark and it was storming outside, which scared me more) to check if our things at the balcony are safe.

After that, I couldn't sleep anymore. I was having some really nasty thoughts in my head.

You see, it's June now (a.k.a. my favorite month of the year cuz you know *wink*) and I had two classmates back in school that had birthdays two days and a day before mine. So 6th, 7th and 8th of June will be like a triple birthday celebration for our class and our batch.

But the thing is, I felt betrayed by the girl who was born on the 6th of June. Why? She didn't like me and personally, I felt that she caused all the troubles I faced  in school when I was 13.

I'M JUST TRYING MY BEST TO GET THROUGH THIS SEMESTER

I think I just need to get this off of my chest before I start doing my overdue assignments.

I have been very anxious lately. It's not just about being anxious with my assignments, it's also about being anxious with my commitments. I've been worrying so much with my MASCA work until I neglected my studies, which has made me more anxious. And now, I am managing, well indirectly managing 2 sports, 3 sports for Queensland MASA Games team. I'm mostly searching for players but I never knew it can be so stressful. I'm worried if  MASCA Queensland's upcoming events would fail and I feel like I have a responsibility to not make it a failure. I feel accountable most of the time, even when I'm not supposed to feel that way.

I have neglected my studies so bad. I didn't submit one minor essay. I did not do 2 of my weekly policy briefs. I have an overdue major essay which amounts up to 45% of my grade. I have an essay due tomorrow that is still in its draft form. But I can't make myself do any of it. Idk how to write a proper essay anymore. I can't understand whatever I read. I feel like I have to restart all my essay writing skills but it's too late now. I'm just hoping to pass all to my subjects :<

Tbh, I never knew I could worry so much. At most of times, I can just jump into another topic without signalling the people involved in the conversation. I can't focus because I'm focused on a lot of things. I can laugh or/and cry so easily now (even cat videos make me cry). It's pretty obvious that my head's wrapped around so many things that I wish to resolve all at once but I can't. And all of this makes me more anxious.

I don't have anxiety attacks. In fact, I don't know how they are like. But I do get my nightmares whenever I sleep. So, I've never had a proper, fully rested kind of sleep. This has made me more tired, and I sleep a lot now. Sooooo, the cycle continues.

I feel like there's something missing but idk what it is. I know I have to get my shit together. I cannot fail a subject. I must pass. But I don't think I'm able to :< I feel like I've let myself down because I couldn't manage my time properly and for taking up a lot of work that I know I can't handle.

I'm not saying being a part of MASCA is a bad thing. It's definitely not. But I find it unfair that some of us are doing a lot more than anyone else. I feel pressured because I am responsible for getting more money for this organization but I can't do anything about if people turn down my offer. I do feel responsible for bringing in a lot of opportunities for the students here because they have so much potential and they can contribute a lot to a company and I don't want that to go to waste. But I have to refine my search area and search for organizations that are a bit more viable. And as much as I say that I will be away from any MASCA-related work, we all know it's a lie. I tried muting the Whatsapp group for a week but I just had to spam the group with irrelevant (they are relevant to me) things on the second day. Ha ha ha.

I don't want to fail but it's too late to do anything about it now. I think all I can do is soldier up and do well for my finals. I just want to pass.

Have a nice day ♥

I WANNA BE A BILLIONAIRE, SO FREAKING BAD

Whitsunday Island, QLD. Thanks Momentum for hooking me up with gorgeous views like this.

Today, I headed to the city after class with my good friend, Aidiq. On our way back, we stopped by a convenience store so that I can reload my Go Card (Queensland's version of Touch n' Go but can only be used for public transports). We saw a scratchie and written on it was, "if you're lucky, you just might win $1,000,000!". We thought that it'd be pretty sick if we just buy one, and who knows we might just get lucky. But we didn't buy it because 'judi' is haram, my brothers and sisters.

While on or way to the bus stop to head back home, Aidiq asked me what will I do if I received a million dollars. And it had me thinking... this could be a great blog post, just talking about all the things I want to do with the money lol. I know it sounds like a really bad post but I just have to do this since I'm trying my best to blog more now hehe.

"Apa kau nak buat dengan duit tu eh? Kalau convert pun, kau dapat around hmm, MYR3,000,000. Banyak gila kot duit tu."

#LIFEUPDATE 2

Sunrise at The Esplanade, Newcastle. NSW. Photo was taken during our roadtrip from Brisbane to Melbourne in Spring Break 2016.

Just wanted to drop in and say hi. Not like a lot of people are reading this though but at least you know I'm still actively trying to blog.

It's Week 5 of the semester and submissions are starting to dawn upon us uh-oh. Workload's getting heavier after a week of break. I'll blog about my Easter break in another post coming soon. So far, so good for me. I have one submission this week and another one next week, both are a 1k word essay. It's pretty hard than what you think it is because you gotta be able to construct concise sentences when you have so many ideas to talk about. Last semester, I had to do an 800 word essay and I swear it will be an essay I will never want to do again because 800 words is so little, it's so limited. I just can't....

I'm trying out this new diet (?) if you can consider it as a diet. I have managed to, unconsciously, not eat chicken for 6 days straight a week before Easter Break. So, I pretty much think I can do it again. I'm trying to test myself and see how far I can go without chicken in a week.

Also, I can't believe it's April now. Time flies so fast when you're having fun. I'm not kidding when I tell you that I am having fun despite having to fulfill my duties as a MASCA representative and a student. I think I can find balance between work and my study. I actually like dong my CR work, to be honest, but it has slowed down because classes have started. As much as I 'membebel' it to Azmir, we all know how much I love it. I feel dedicated and obliged to bring in the best opportunities for my students here in Queensland. Although Queensland does not have many students like Victoria and New South Wales, but I will not let that be a reason for me to stop pulling in more opportunities for the students here. We have a lot of great talents here in Queensland, I just need to find the right ones (and interested ones, too) to allow them to expand and unleash their potential.

On a personal note, I like where I am today. I'm not fully contented but I'm fairly satisfied with what I have. I'm happy with the people that I'm surrounded with. I'm truly blessed to have known these wonderful people and for having them around when I need them. It's gonna be hard for me when they graduate because they're not gonna be physically around (and also I'm a cry baby). And I'm also very happy with the person I'm with now. It's still early but at least we're working towards one mutual goal. And I like the fact that we're so different, we complement each other really well. And I'm just really happy now. He's the most adorable thing on Earth, cats coming in second lol.

Have a nice day ♥

#LIFEUPDATE 1

I know I haven't been writing anything for so long. I have so many things I want to write and share, but I never really had the chance (and time) to finish it. I am sacrificing my sleep time just to blog because I miss blogging, I swear. I have like 10 drafts but I never had the time to finish it ☹