DO YOU SEARCH FOR LOVE OR WILL IT COME TO YOU?

There's this saying that goes "jodoh takkan ke mana" and "kita kena berusaha mencari jodoh" in the Malay culture. To me, I find it contradictory to one another but there is truth to it. Let me explain the contradictory part first and then how it correlates to one another.

In Islam, we believe that Allah has destined who we will end up with, hence explaining the first saying. It doesn't matter who we are with, if it has been written by Allah; therefore, it is meant to be. If, for example, A and B hates each other so much that they will just bicker whenever they see each other in public or even in their dreams—obviously nobody would expect them to be on good terms unless a miracle happens. Both of them thinks that they're not perfect for each other because of their obvious differences in everything and anything. But if Allah has destined that they both are soulmates, well, wherever and whenever they go, they will still end up with each other (although not physically) because that is the beauty of Allah's power. It's something indescribable but really amazing at the same time because He is the Most Amazing Planner of all and He knows what's best for us although we think it's not (the A and B example). And who are we to argue?

However, the second saying means that we have to work for it in order to get it (somehow like that). I think we all can understand what it means because with effort, you will go somewhere and get something. In this phrase—from my understanding, it tells you to not fully rely on Allah to find your soulmate. Don't get me wrong but what I meant is that you can't expect to find your soulmate if you only wait for it while watching TV at home—your soulmate wouldn't even know of your existence lol. You gotta go out, mingle, get to know people and hopefully stumble upon your right one.

Both of these phrases contradict because one tells you to rely on God but the other (sort of) tells you to not fully rely on Allah.

But, how does these two phrases work with each other? Muslims believe in Qada' (things that cannot be changed i.e, death, Qiyamat, soulmates, etc.) and Qadar (things that can be changed i.e, status, level of faith, etc.). Like I've mentioned earlier, if Allah has written what is meant for us, then there are no means for us to change it. However, in order to find the right one, you have to know and get through a lot of people. And sometimes, when you find the right one, it might be at the wrong time or place. So, you have to put some effort—apart from relying solely on Allah to provide what is best for you—in order to meet that person again, hopefully in the right settings. Another example would be C and D. C is in love with D but never really had the guts to say it to D while D is being oblivious to how C feels towards D. If, let's say, God fated these two together, there will come a time for either C or D, or both perhaps, did something (effort—Qadar) that ended up with those two being together because if it's meant to be by God, then surely it will be (Qada'). Maybe not now, maybe later. I don't know. We don't know.

In Islam, we were taught to rely on Allah despite whatever circumstances but we were also taught to put in effort in what we do. Whatever is the outcome, we have to accept it (Redha) because that is what Allah has planned for us. I remember a teacher of mine back in school taught me the four letters we should always remember. It was:

• D (Du'a)
• U ('Usaha' or effort in English)
• I ('Ikhtiar' or endeavour/initiative)—IDK what 'Ikhtiar' really is in English but this is what Mr. Google said
• T ('Terima' or accept)

What D.U.I.T. means is that we have to put in effort and if all fails, search for another initiative to reach our goal (U and I—lol at this!). At the same time, we must also supplicate, pray and always remember Allah while achieving our goals (D). Then, whatever the results are, we must wholeheartedly accept the decision that Allah has agreed upon (T or also known as Redha).

I deeply apologize if my examples aren't clear enough as I am also learning about how this works out. But basically, just stick on to the idea that if it's meant to be, it is meant to be but it will only be if we do something about it. Just like trying to win a competition. Situation A: If you don't put in effort, then it will not be that you will win first place. Situation B: You put in a lot effort but still didn't grab top spot. Both situations are highly relatable to everyone but we can see the difference it makes. In A, you would obviously do so much to reach your goal but in B, maybe you'll try again next time or in another competition. Same goes like 'jodoh'. Situation A is you putting effort if you want it/found the right one. Situation B is more like if things don't work out, maybe that person is not for you or maybe both of you are not ready.

Please correct me if I'm wrong or feel that there needs to be some addition to this. I am open to your opinions and ideas as I also want to grow my faith as a Muslim to my religion. Feel free to drop a comment!

Have a nice day ♥

NOW EXCUSE ME IF I SOUND RUDE

Back then, I always had this aspiration to learn more about Islam. Maybe take up Syariah or learn about the history of Islam. I guess it's because I thought that if I know more about Islam, I would eventually fall in love with it and lead a life just how Allah wants us to do. Just like the Malay saying goes, "tak kenal, maka tak cinta" (to love is to know). Islam itself has so many branches underneath it, even if I had an eternal lifetime to learn all of it, I doubt I would have learned it all. However, the history of Islam is what I am most interested in. I get to learn about what the people did back then in order to fight for their religion. I get to know what our scholars and warriors did to develop not just the religion, but also its believers. I want to know what made us fall so bad 'til it's difficult for us to get back up and be strong like how we were back then (I heard we conquered 1/3 of the world. WOW!). I want to find out how the pioneers of Islam had the motivation to do what they did because it's truly amazing how they could sacrifice themselves for Islam—because I find that hard to do. And if I could and have all the money in the world, I would definitely love love love to travel to countries and cities that has traces of Islam such as Spain, Turkey, Cordoba, Granada, Iran, Saudi Arabia (obvs you can't miss this), and many more.

But I remember how a lot of people gave me odd stares and a lot of people told me that it will never work because of how I am—not that pious, of course. They told me to fix myself first, then go chase after that dream. They said that it was impossible for me to embrace what I learn if I don't change. But the thing is, the fact that I wanted to learn more about my religion showed that there is a want in me to change, but most probably not in a route that people usually take. What they had said to me really discouraged me from pursuing my dream. It deterred me from wanting to know more. It doused the passion in me to fall in love with my religion. Because of that, I forget my desire to learn and look where I am now. I believe that I am nowhere close to God nor would I get to smell the beautiful scent of Jannah. Islam is beautiful but unfortunately, some of its people are not painting it in a good color.

A lot of things went through my mind. I question why did they do that to me back then? Why did you not believe that I could change? Why did you told me to quit dreaming? Was having a dream to learn about Islam, although the way I appear is not similar to what you think a Muslimah should be, is wrong? What was it about my dream that was so different than who I am? Was it really peculiar that just because I don't look pious, it means that I am forbidden to learn about my religion?

I didn't like how my own peers discouraged me. It wasn't even productive anyway. I understood that one of the ways for us to perform jihad is by learning and gaining knowledge and I believed—note, it is no longer a big passion or desire—that with my dream, I'll gain a whole new set of understanding and experience and perhaps, get a more solid grasp on Islam itself. Despite the fact that I am not having the same aspiration that I used to have before, I'm still trying to change but it's a bit harder because I don't have that number one drive that makes me want to not take my time. I am really, really taking my time and I swear trying to change the way I dress is hard (especially when clothes nowadays are mostly transparent, tight and/or cropped). But I'll soldier on and learn to dress modestly—what I meant by modest is wear more clothes that doesn't show my body shape i.e, loose clothes. I'm doing it step by step, I'm just uncertain of how long this thing would take for me to change, accept and embrace.

I urge people out there to not stop people from dreaming or from pursuing something just because their appearance and character do not resemble exactly like their dream. Humans have different motivations and different reasons. They have distinctive behaviors and characteristics. Just because they don't fit into your view of what a matter should be, does not mean they should be completely shut out from it. In fact, why stop them if their dream is for something better? Be supportive and don't be hostile to them. You can never know if your words can completely kill someone's dream (and that's bad on so many levels!). So, take a lesson to what had happened to me. It's such a shame that I no longer have a profound interest in the history of Islam. It's such a waste of time telling someone that they can't do something just because you cannot measure their ability in doing it (what am I saying?). Really, just be supportive and never say "NO!" to anyone's dream—unless it's a bad dream that is against moral values and religion or whatever that makes it a bad one, then please stop them from pursuing it.

Hopefully, you'll get my point and understand what I am trying to share, Remember, spread positivity and kill negativity.

Have a nice day☺

#INSECURITY: SHOULD YOU DO THIS FOR THE IDEAL BODY?

Hi guys. This is going to be a quite serious topic because I'm going to talk about insecurities, particularly about your body. I've heard stuffs about girls starving themselves or eat a little, teensy-weensy piece of food just to get this ideal body that society deems as perfect.

I have this friend, who is going on this diet because that person thinks that the body that person has is fat—and it is so not! I cannot name what kind of diet it is or else, some people would know who I'm talking about—and that ain't good for me and for that person. We don't mind about if that person wants to go on a diet, but the thing that worries us the most is the "diet". That person, currently, only consumes veggies and fruits. Just fibers. No protein or carbs—even fat to that matter! But here's the thing. After doing extensive research—well not that deep, but just getting to know what the diet and all diets make you eat—I found out that her "diet" is wrong.

Now let's bring us back to the time where we learnt about the Pyramid of Foods. I don't think I should explain to you how it is because it's practically a basic thing that we all must know. Again, MUST know. But for the sake of wanting to make this post look a bit more serious, I'll just share to you the essentials of the pyramid. At the topmost hierarchy would be fats, followed by proteins, carbohydrates and fibers respectively. As you go up the pyramid, you should consume less. Now, coming back to the "diet", can you see where it went wrong?

YES, CORRECT!

I know you didn't notice but if you did, claps and pats for you. Yay!

The "diet" is missing out 3/4 of the essential nutrition that the body needs. That person is losing fats, proteins and carbohydrates, which is as important as fiber and minerals. It worries us so bad because we understand that person's need and desire to slim down but the method is definitely wrong. That person attends casual medical checkups and gets advice from doctors but I still find it wrong. I totally get the fact that my friend feels so insecure of the body and weight, but my friend now is losing the roses on them cheeks and is resembling a walking skeleton. I'm very concerned but there's nothing my friends and I can do about it because apparently, the friend stays strong with this stand and her "diet".

But one thing I know that I can do is informing you guys about the right way to slim down or lose weight. Yes, you can go on diets. It is perfectly fine! But it will not be fine if you go overboard with it. There's always a limit to everything—even the free market has its boundaries—so you gotta control it. You have to make sure that the body gets the essential nutrition needed because if you severely lack in either nutrition, you might die. Alright alright, in a less fatal situation, lacking in some of the nutrition can make you prone to various diseases, and that's way worst because you think you're healthy but you're actually not. All diets will need you to take in fats, carbohydrates, protein and fibers but the difference is the amount of each of the nutrition.

I understand that we will at one point feel so insecure about our body, and we tend to do something about it because we want to feel comfortable in our skin. I do it too, except that I can never stick to it because food is just so (inserts wonderful adjectives to describe about food)! But if you want to do it, do it the right way.

I've been in a very dark place before because I wanted my body to be accepted by my peers. I only relied on water, no foods whatsoever. I lost 10kgs in three weeks. It felt good because I lost a lot of weight but then, it felt bad because I was weak, constanly on moodswings and also, I looked ugly. Don't harm yourself and your body because there's no point of wasting such a wonderful, precious life that has so many to offer. Remember, you might not see the aftermath of what you do now, but think about the future if you continue with your bad habit. Would it be worth it?

Have a nice day ♥

#MYSPMMEMOIR:GOOD LUCK WITH YOUR SPM RESULT!

Hi! I know it's been a long time since I've posted anything on this blog, but I think I should post something for my friends and juniors—and my sister too—who shall be taking their SPM results tomorrow at their respective schools.

Look, I know that all of you right now are utterly scared and extremely nervous and really anxious for result day—I know, I've been there too. And I know that there a lot of questions running in and out of your head that mostly sound like these:-

"What if I don't get straight A's?"

"What if I don't get straight A+'s?"

"What if I do get straight A's?"

"What if I got more than what I expected?"

"What if my results are so bad, I couldn't get a decent scholarship or a sponsorship at least?"

"What if my parents wouldn't be proud of me because of my results?"

"What if I did really bad during SPM?"

"What if my results were so bad, everyone would be laughing at me?"

"What if I didn't meet the school's expectation?"

 And so on...

Hey, don't worry! The thing that you got to realize is that it's too late for you to change your answers on those papers.It's already printed and all you have to do is to accept it. Yes, it may take a while if you got a result that you didn't want but trust me, just because one door closes right in front of your eyes, it doesn't mean that the other doors are close for you too.

I believe in fate and maybe I was fated to not get straight A's for my SPM. I was completely devastated because my friends, most of them, got straight A's and A+ too. And the fact that I was in the 23 kids that was targeted by the school to get straight A's made things worst. Til this day, I still can't believe how Rianna [name shall not be disclosed] can accept her results and smile at work and at the same time, consoled and cheered me up when her result was way worst than mine—she got a C/C+ for Chemistry.

But hey, even though it didn't go well for me in the beginning, I managed to get a sponsor to pursue my studies overseas—Alhamdulillah. And I know people who did bad during SPM but now, they are in the midst of finishing their degree. See? Just because you had a bad start, doesn't mean that you're gonna be in a bad place for the rest of your life. Plan your post-result life properly. If you're not sure about the course you're about to take, go talk to your parents/seniors/teachers/counselors/friends, read 'em up on blogs, take personality tests and ask God. Trust me, the road ahead is much more challenging and you need a lot of resources to tackle it. I don't want to see you sink like Titanic.

You can never know what the future holds for you but remember; if you want a good future, work hard for it. Don't just sit there and do nothing because that will never bring you anywhere.

Have a nice day ♥