Yes, I'm finally doing this. And yes, I've succeeded in pushing myself to do this.
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| UQ's famous hallway at Forgan Smith Building. |
Question 1:
What's one thing that's happened to you that has made you become a stronger person?
I believe a lot of things have happened to me in 22 years of my life. And all of it has made me become a stronger person. But one thing that has taught me more about myself and made me become a stronger person is my anxiety and my fear to fail.
You see, I'm so used to putting high expectations on myself and I've never struggled much in my studies (other than anything related to Maths, that was a bit challenging but I managed to pull through hehe). To me, everything I do has to reach a certain standard/achieve an expectation I've set so that I'll be happy with it. Anything that doesn't reach the standard or meet the expectation will not be something I'm proud of. Academically, I barely had a rough time. I'm so used to getting things done my way and I'm so used to getting what I want when I put my head and heart in it. But things weren't the same in 2016.
I failed 6 out of the 7 subjects I took. I couldn't finish my assignments because I lost hope in myself. I lost interest to study. The stress and anxiety became a huge issue (and I've never experienced this before). Nothing about academics impresses me anymore. I just couldn't do anything because I know I'm already failing and I didn't see the point of trying. I was ashamed of myself and I constantly blamed myself for everything. I just gave up, while at the same time tearing myself down because I quit, and that's so weak of me. And I was doing the thing I feared most this whole time, I failed. I failed in wanting to do my best. I failed in trying to be positive and enthusiastic. I failed in achieving my expectations. And I failed to want to continue, and decided to just let it all go and give up.